and respect for the body that i make love
to.that is the most deep and most loving part
of love, the part that should mean the moast
in a loving realationship
such a admirable character .... but some
times people crave other things and new
experience before they die....
and sometimes.. relationships of present are
unable to offer such things.... as they have
lived and loved there life....ad the
direction of experience is not there.....
it's just wants and needs baby ......
but i understand your stance.... and one
should reflect that ...
thanks steven
jackie (landy della) f***ed my life up for
the past 13 years
now is the time to move on
she posted her new lover on camp site only a
day after she moved him in
she made me degraded and humiliated by doing
this
i am on anty depresents , because i have had
a lot of problems over the last few
years,
How To Cope With a Cheating Spouse / Partner
Okay You have found out that your husband /
wife / spouse / partner is cheating... How do
you react to this information?
Yes... you are devastated, shell shocked,
unable to comprehend why this has happened.
Yes, you are totally angry and can't think
clearly. After all how dare your spouse /
partner / lover cheat on you?
Yes... the blood is rushing to your head as
adrenaline pumps up your system. You are
hurting badly as you imagine your 'beloved'
in someone else's arms probably even jeering
at you! Oh the shame. Oh the humiliation! How
dare he / she treat you like that?
Now is the time to take a deep breath. Yes
take a step back, think clearly and show that
you are superior in mind to anyone else...
Don't you know that you can still come out on
top of this situation and have the upper hand
after all is said and done... just the way
you want it.
Instead of reacting wildly by confronting,
expressing anger, jealousy, hatred or
fighting, instead of planning revenge, now is
the time to take a little breathing space...
some quite time to assess your true inner
feelings...
Do you really love your wife/ husband /
partner even though he / she has been
cheating behind your back?
Do You want to continue in this
relationship?
Do you want to keep your family intact?
Do you love your partner enough to be able to
forgive and forget?
How have you driven your loving wife/ husband
/ partner into going outside the relationship
to find fulfillment through cheeting?
Have you been giving adequate attention or
have other matters taken priority over time?
Have you been expressing love and sharing
your life intimately with your partner?
Have you been appreciating your wife's /
husband's contribution to the relationship?
Is your relationship based on mutual respect
and understanding?
Have you had adequate communication in your
relationship?
Have you been taking the relationship for
granted and trying to control, push and do
what matters to you alone?
Have you really been listening to what your
partner may have been trying to tell you ?
Remember you need to accept responsibility
for this situation... your spouse / partner
is not entirely responsible... You have
played your part too . Though this may not be
very clear to you right now. Here you need to
refer to the universal law of attraction
which states that you attract what you give
out. So how have you attracted this situation
of a cheating spouse into your life?
After you have really analyzed your feelings
and really accepted responsibility for your
part in it. Then it is time to have a level
headed discussion with your partner. You need
to keep mutual respect and understanding in
view all the time...
Do not try to control , react in anger or
hatred. Really talk, listen and pay
attention. Mutual respect and sympathetic
understanding is the key here.
Points to discuss are:
What really happened?
Do both of you want to continue with each
other or not ?
What changes can be made in both of your
behaviors to avoid a repetition of cheating?
Remember adequate communication can resolve
and avoid any issues.
After you have really analyzed your feelings
and really accepted responsibility for your
part in it. Then it is time to have a level
headed discussion with your partner. You need
to keep mutual respect and understanding in
view all the time...
Break ups can be torture - particularly a bad
breakup. Your life is turned upside down and
inside out. However, a break up is not the
end of the world. You still have a long life
ahead. So don't just drown it out in misery.
I know, you are devastated emotionally.
Probably plunged in to a financial crisis,
dealing with custodial issues of children or
dependants, undergoing drastic changes in
your life style and dealing with the pain all
alone - Oh the unfairness of it all ... The
faster you get over it the better.
I also understand that in a bad breakup, it
is not easy to let go of the pain - the
totally uncontrollable emotional eruptions in
your mind happen without warning and at the
most unlikeliest of times. Such emotions seem
to have a life of their own and hold you a
virtual hostage in your own world. However
you can regain your power, if you use the
tools and procedures described below.
How to Survive a Break up - 10 Sure fire Ways
to help you get over a breakup faster:
1. Keep contact with your ex to a minimum.
If possible eliminate it all together- there
is no point in maintaining a friendly
relationship with your ex , if you no longer
have anything in common. He/she is now
virtually a stranger... and you keep away
from strangers.
2. Don't try to spy on, or talk to neighbors
or friends, or try to keep tabs on what your
ex is up to, or even go for revenge.
If you do so, it simply shows that you are
obsessed with your ex guy or girl, and he/she
still has a lot of 'control Power' over you.
Shift your focus away from your ex. Simply
refuse to think about him or her. You have to
get out from under his/her influence as soon
as you can. So don't even think about what he
or she is doing. That is not your problem
anymore. Just like you would not want to have
your activities monitored or spied upon,
neither would your ex. And this behavior of
keeping tabs smells strongly of jealousy...
It can be classified as 'harassment' and
could result in violence. Since You're not a
control freak or a psychopath and would never
resort to violence, so simply erase all
thoughts about your 'ex' from your mind.
3. Don't let your emotions control you.
You control your emotions... I know this can
be a tough cookie to crack, particularly when
every waking moment, you discover that your
mind has a will of its own and simply starts
wandering over to thoughts of your ex... it
apparently seems beyond your control ... you
find your thoughts stuck in cycles about your
ex...
Don't get bogged down in cycles of jealousy,
anger, hatred, etc...
You have to become watchful of your thoughts
and eliminate them as soon as you notice
them. Some spiritual techniques for dealing
with your thoughts are described in the
following article: Coping With a Break Up.
Self hypnosis is also a good solution to deal
with break up issues. You can check out Self
Hypnosis Mp3's for Dealing With break up
Issues... (such as forgiveness, jealousy,
getting over your ex, anger management and
lots more)
4. Now you have to concentrate on re-building
your life with self confidence and self
esteem
If you are financially constrained, your
first thoughts to get over the break up ,
should be to get back on your 'financial
feet'... you may need to get a job, or if you
already have one, you may have to figure out
ways of either improving your income or
managing your finances better.
Here instead of just forging ahead, I will
advise you to sit down and do some real
planning, since you are already undergoing
major changes in your life, plan your moves
well. At this point it will be a good idea to
check out Self Help Tapes & CD's... even if
you don't get them at this time, it might
give you some pointers along the lines you
may want to improve yourself.
5. Next, you need to strengthen your network
of supportive friends.
Reconnect with your old friends or go out and
find some new ones. Spending some quality
time with friends will help you to get over a
break up much faster. Though remember,
positive friends will work better for you
than negative types. So be selective in whom
you chose to spend time with. Concentrate on
friends who are mutually supportive and
uplifting.
6. Also here is a bit of relationship advice:
Don't let the fear of loneliness push you
into a new relationship right away, or don't
let it even rebound you back into the arms of
your ex.
Handle your fears positively. Remember that
they are nothing more than a thought in your
mind, and can be controlled by you. Take
charge of your relationships or even stay
away from an emotional involvement with
someone, until you have gotten over your
current break up.
Don't feel hopeless that you won't be able
to get someone else to share your life with
in the future. The world is full of wonderful
people and you will be divinely directed to
your true soul mate, once you are able to get
out of the influence of your ex boyfriend or
girlfriend and able to connect with your true
divine self.
7. Slowly start getting out of the habits and
feelings of codependency that you might have
acquired with your ex partner.
You need to start getting more independent,
build up your self esteem, become confident
and start doing all your things
independently. Start appreciating yourself
more. Start taking better care of yourself
both physically as well as emotionally.
Remember that you can love someone only to
the extent that you can love yourself. If you
don't care about yourself, you can never care
about anyone else... and then the
relationship always fails. Because your
relationship was a good reflection of your
own fears and limitations. You were seeking
from your partner the strength, confidence
and support that you found missing in
yourself. Why not focus on cultivating all
those missing elements in your personal self,
rather than looking for them outside of
yourself? Here if you need help, you can use
Self Help Tapes & CD's... .
8. You have just received a second chance to
'start over' - Consider yourself a very lucky
man or woman - a lot of people don't get a
second chance in life.
So don't just throw away your days in
lamenting or even merry making. Don't
relegate yourself to a mediocre life... this
is your chance to find your passion in life -
find what you really want to do, and make
plans, set goals to start working towards
your dream life. This time around, live your
life the way you want it, not the way other's
want it. So find what you want to do and do
it.
9. Just like you are often advised to learn
from your mistakes, a break up is a mistake
-- a life lesson -- learn from it.
Even though you are going to forgive and let
go of all your past experiences, you are not
going to forget -- you are just going to
remember them without the pain or emotional
baggage -- with a sense of detachment -- As
time goes on, you will be able to reflect
upon it with detachment, and learn from it.
What does it tell you about your own
attitude?
What does it tell you about how you deal
with others?
What does it tell you about your likes and
dislikes in the relationship?
What could you do better next time?
What would you like to avoid all together?
How have you grown from this?
What changes would you like to see in
yourself?
Even if you don't think about all the angles
of your relationship consciously. You have
for sure learned a few things that are going
to come back to you from time to time. Such
life lessons are for learning so that history
does not repeat itself in your future.
10. Keep doing the best you can. Keep working
on improving yourself and achieving your
dreams. Go get a Life!
Don't ever look back. And remember, that
living well is the best revenge you can have
on your ex. So go and live the best possible
life you can. A life spent bemoaning your
fate, complaining about the unfairness of
things or crying over a lost relationship is
a wasted life. It soon stagnates and
virtually 'dies'. To continue living
successfully you have to keep moving
positively forward. Try new things. take up
creative hobbies. Challenge yourself to come
up with some adventurous dreams and goals and
launch yourself forward with passion. Yes, I
dare you to live your life with passion. For
at the end, a life well lived is all that
matters. Everything else are simply forgotten
memories.
There are several deep rooted reasons that
compel woman to go against their ingrained
stature of being 'faithful and loyal' wives,
mothers and daughters to trigger the cheating
behavior in woman:
Such reasons for woman cheating can stem
from:
Impulsive behavior - being carried away by
the moment - yes woman are more prone to
impulsive behavior, particularly if they are
also facing problems with their husband or
partner.
There is no passion in their marriage with
their spouse or partner - it has gone dead.
Their spouse or partner simply treats them
like an 'object' to be used and disposed or
kept away for later use... Hence they do not
get enough outlet or attention for their
sentimental feelings or emotions - hence they
go out and cheat with anyone who pays them
more compliments, romantic attention, shows
deep understanding , makes them feel special,
appreciated and beautiful.
Women are attracted to power, confidence and
money - hence if they are stuck in a cold
relationship with an uncharismatic, shy and
retiring man, they may respond by seeking
someone stronger, more confident, powerful
and more romantic - someone that make s them
feel special and taken care of.
The cheating behavior might have been
triggered by deep feelings of insecurity due
to the relationship with their father. Yes,
the father - daughter relationship can have a
strong impact on woman's psychological make
up - so if the relationship was a strong,
loving attachment with the father, such woman
are less likely to cheat, than those who were
distant, or felt uncared for or were even
abused by their father.
Cheating might also be triggered if woman
have an unhealthy self image with low self
esteem, and they try to reinforce their self
image by finding solace in multiple
relationships - this makes them feel wanted,
or beautiful and powerful.
trust is the only thing that can make it
true
without it it canot go on
liers are not to belive
trust will never be part of me again
it took my ex 3 days to jump in bed with her
new lover
never again will i trust a woman
That's a real shame, as you may end up
meeting a fantastic woman who you will end up
pushing away.
Fortunately, with any new relationship i have
started, i have gone into it with a clean
slate, knowing that as all women aren't the
same, then obviously all men aren't.
Trust does need to be earned, as does
respect, but you have to give everyone a
chance.
There was no way that i was going to give my
ex the satisfaction of believing that he had
broken me down, and i was worthless.
Now, i am engaged to a wonderful person, who
i would do anything for, and would do
anything for me.
We both have a lot to put into practice
because of previous relationships, but we are
doing it together.
Realising that my ex's couldn't love me the
way that i wanted to be loved, made moving on
so much easier.
When 'love' hurts (whether physically or
emotionally - or both), then it's not love.
Unfortunately for me, i always trust 100%,
until someone proves that they are
untrustworthy - it's just part of my nature.
But, i KNOW that that is my problem, and i am
the only person responsible for that.
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